Feel Safe?

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I need protection, ...
but I hate wearing seat-belts.
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Add to that list:
I hate motorcycle helmets, bicycle helmets, and speed-limits.
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I have an allergy to Latex, you know, that white rubber stuff. Elastic on clothes, underwear, socks, and yes, I'm even allergic to latex condoms!
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I once pissed off a doctor cuz he couldn't find the latex-free box of gloves he supposedly had. You'd think a doc would have hypo-allergenic office stuff, but they can be idiots sometimes too!
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This dogs dream of a rest-stop island, is surrounded by sturdy posts. But you can see all the tell-tale dings of all the vehicles which managed to miss the bright-red paint job...
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We should all be so well protected!